I had someone remark recently, “Why?” And why is it every day seems to be worse than the day previous? We are impatient sometimes when we do not understand the method or reasons for our sorrow. In these times of sorrow we may think we will never laugh or love again. We often seek to target someone with the cause of our sorrow. Yet, this is not always an easy answer for us to know or to place responsibility. Centuries ago it was believed that if you suffer it was because you did something wrong and were being punished, and if we were financially well off, it was because we were blessed. If this were true, then it could equally be said that a devotion to a life of striving to be good may be in vain when sorrow does come upon us. The individual whom I referred to earlier also inquired why it was taking so long to mourn, as it had been several months. I suggested we all are unique individuals with unique life experiences and thus our grief experiences will be unique as well. We all require different time element with our healing needs.  

   Endurance is an important ingredient in our journey with grief. Too many in society think there is a time limit with mourning and it is their mission to inform people when their time is up.  Others place that unrealistic burden upon themselves and as a result risk burnout before they have “finished the course” in their journey with grief. No, I am not saying there is a literal “course,” but using the term figuratively. Frequently we will use the term “patience” to refer to endurance. Grief will proceed in its own speed and its own manner unique with each person.

   “And all these, though commended through their faith, did not receive what was promised” in their expected time. This is Sunrise Aftercare, sunrise@sfdcares.com.  

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